What Your Cigarette Says About Your Dating Habits

In case you cannot read the teeny, tiny type:

A) Just a guess for this female mannerism: insecure, afraid to lose the cigarette. She probably holds on to her man like glue.

B) Typical grasp of a female bored with her date. She has to concentrate on the tip to keep from yawning.

C) Dr. Neutra claims this man is an intellectual, a very brainy type of guy, a contemplative character.

D) This person is generally unreliable, weak, hard to live with, and inclined to excessive lying.

E) Very terse individual, direct, straightforward, and inclined to stubbornness

F) A hail fellow, well-met character who enjoys high living. A Texas Millionaire type.

G) This guy is obviously daring, calculating, literally likes to “play with fire.”

H) A dreamer, always off on a tangent

I) Very pessimistic, ecessive in business caution.

Look, personal thoughts on this: none of these people know how to hold a cigarette. The psychology of all of them should actually be “idiot.” Or, alternatively, “Idiot who does not know how to hold a cigarette.”

You hold it facing outwards, dummy. You do not hold the lit end of a cigarette as close to your vulnerable palm as humanly possible. “Playing with fire” is not a cool, admirable virtue. It is a thing done by idiots. I know that, and I don’t even smoke.

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